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The Nature of Sexual Feelings
Sexual feelings are defined as feelings with a very strong localized physical pleasure component, or feelings that are closely connected/associated with such feelings. Evolutionary, sexual feelings are closely connected with reproduction; however, the connection is not ordinarily a part of the feeling. Sexual feelings are closely connected towards love and attraction, but these are not necessary for feelings to be sexual. As with all feelings, the essence and identity of sexual feelings lies in the understanding and perception of the feelings. As such, sexual pleasure cannot exist without an appropriate mental context. For example, otherwise pleasant feelings may be not truly enjoyable when the sex is coerced, and the victim may be confused over whether he or she enjoyed the encounter. It is also possible for a victim to enjoy the physical feelings, yet suffer much more from the emotional distress.
Sexual conduct refers to conduct with a sufficient nexus to sexual feelings. Throughout this essay, sex will be used to mean touching with intense sexual feelings, especially touching by another person. This differs somewhat from the standard usage. In particular masturbation, especially mutual masturbation, is treated as a type of sex. The term "sexual intercourse" is used in the conventional way.
As the definition suggests, sexual feelings are not special. The primary difference between sexual and non-sexual feelings is cultural, and the primary non-cultural difference is in the magnitude of the feelings. Consequently, the correct morality for sex is similar to morality for ordinary non-sexual massage. Although sexual feelings may be very strong, sexual behavior can quickly become a normal part of life, with the person's personality largely undisturbed.
Sexual feelings are likely to be stronger when equivalent stimulation is done by another person rather than oneself because with stimulation by another person, you lack a mental preimage of the feelings. Feelings are likely to be stronger when having sex first time (assuming that the physical behavior is equivalent to subsequent times) because of lack of mental constructs to deal with the feelings, and similarly for particular sexual behaviors/situations.
Physical feelings from comparable physical contact tend to be stronger in children partly because to some extent the strength of feelings is relative to other feelings experienced, and partly because of a reduced capacity to internalize feelings into routine mental constructs. (However, biological changes such as puberty may make analogous stimulation incomparable.)
The strength of sexual feelings can create a temporary mental state of altered reality. Basic properties of objects such as shape and color will be remain the same, but the perception will be different, the sexual experience will be the dominant feeling, and the physical world may appear less real.
Physical risks of sexual behaviors are not discussed here. The reader is encouraged to learn about the risks elsewhere, especially if the reader is planning on having sex. Here, it suffices to note that strong sexual feelings and interactions are often physically safe.
Most people in most situations sexually prefer a person of opposite sex. (By contrast, on average people tend to socialize with people of the same sex.) However, it is not possible for one to be sexually attracted to just males or to just females. Sexual orientation is a matter of degree, and your primary sexual orientation does not extend to all possible situations.
On an abstract level, homosexuality has the benefits of equality and inclusiveness. Specifically, in homosexual sex, (when desired) one partner can have approximately the same physical experience as the other. Furthermore, mutual attraction is possible even if there are more than two people. However, there are practical advantages to heterosexuality, such as are diversity (having two types of bodies may provide richer experience), certain biological adaptations, commonness of partners, cultural acceptance, and possibility of procreation.
Sexual feelings are on average pleasurable, but even then, they are not just pleasure. Sexual feelings contain other components and may even include significant pain.
Sexual urges are sexual feelings with a significant desire/suffering component: desire for sexual feelings, and suffering from lack of these sexual feelings. Sexual urges can be satisfied by creating these sexual feelings, usually through some type of genital massage (such as masturbation or sexual intercourse). Sexual urges are generally caused by sex-related thoughts and feelings and can be quite strong. For many people, sexual urges occur quite frequently. Although sexual urges involve suffering or something closely related to suffering, they may have pleasurable aspects as well.
Suffering is necessary for pleasure to exist, and sexual pleasure is not an exception. When done in moderation, unfulfilled sexual desire and sexual abstinence can increase sexual pleasure.
Sexual feelings are defined as feelings with a very strong localized physical pleasure component, or feelings that are closely connected/associated with such feelings. Evolutionary, sexual feelings are closely connected with reproduction; however, the connection is not ordinarily a part of the feeling. Sexual feelings are closely connected towards love and attraction, but these are not necessary for feelings to be sexual. As with all feelings, the essence and identity of sexual feelings lies in the understanding and perception of the feelings. As such, sexual pleasure cannot exist without an appropriate mental context. For example, otherwise pleasant feelings may be not truly enjoyable when the sex is coerced, and the victim may be confused over whether he or she enjoyed the encounter. It is also possible for a victim to enjoy the physical feelings, yet suffer much more from the emotional distress.
Sexual conduct refers to conduct with a sufficient nexus to sexual feelings. Throughout this essay, sex will be used to mean touching with intense sexual feelings, especially touching by another person. This differs somewhat from the standard usage. In particular masturbation, especially mutual masturbation, is treated as a type of sex. The term "sexual intercourse" is used in the conventional way.
As the definition suggests, sexual feelings are not special. The primary difference between sexual and non-sexual feelings is cultural, and the primary non-cultural difference is in the magnitude of the feelings. Consequently, the correct morality for sex is similar to morality for ordinary non-sexual massage. Although sexual feelings may be very strong, sexual behavior can quickly become a normal part of life, with the person's personality largely undisturbed.
Sexual feelings are likely to be stronger when equivalent stimulation is done by another person rather than oneself because with stimulation by another person, you lack a mental preimage of the feelings. Feelings are likely to be stronger when having sex first time (assuming that the physical behavior is equivalent to subsequent times) because of lack of mental constructs to deal with the feelings, and similarly for particular sexual behaviors/situations.
Physical feelings from comparable physical contact tend to be stronger in children partly because to some extent the strength of feelings is relative to other feelings experienced, and partly because of a reduced capacity to internalize feelings into routine mental constructs. (However, biological changes such as puberty may make analogous stimulation incomparable.)
The strength of sexual feelings can create a temporary mental state of altered reality. Basic properties of objects such as shape and color will be remain the same, but the perception will be different, the sexual experience will be the dominant feeling, and the physical world may appear less real.
Physical risks of sexual behaviors are not discussed here. The reader is encouraged to learn about the risks elsewhere, especially if the reader is planning on having sex. Here, it suffices to note that strong sexual feelings and interactions are often physically safe.
Most people in most situations sexually prefer a person of opposite sex. (By contrast, on average people tend to socialize with people of the same sex.) However, it is not possible for one to be sexually attracted to just males or to just females. Sexual orientation is a matter of degree, and your primary sexual orientation does not extend to all possible situations.
On an abstract level, homosexuality has the benefits of equality and inclusiveness. Specifically, in homosexual sex, (when desired) one partner can have approximately the same physical experience as the other. Furthermore, mutual attraction is possible even if there are more than two people. However, there are practical advantages to heterosexuality, such as are diversity (having two types of bodies may provide richer experience), certain biological adaptations, commonness of partners, cultural acceptance, and possibility of procreation.
Sexual feelings are on average pleasurable, but even then, they are not just pleasure. Sexual feelings contain other components and may even include significant pain.
Sexual urges are sexual feelings with a significant desire/suffering component: desire for sexual feelings, and suffering from lack of these sexual feelings. Sexual urges can be satisfied by creating these sexual feelings, usually through some type of genital massage (such as masturbation or sexual intercourse). Sexual urges are generally caused by sex-related thoughts and feelings and can be quite strong. For many people, sexual urges occur quite frequently. Although sexual urges involve suffering or something closely related to suffering, they may have pleasurable aspects as well.
Suffering is necessary for pleasure to exist, and sexual pleasure is not an exception. When done in moderation, unfulfilled sexual desire and sexual abstinence can increase sexual pleasure.
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